What to say in a first message!
How we express ourselves is super important, and that written message will be the first contact that you make with someone, whom if you are writing to, we guess has caught your attention and is appealing enough to actually want to make contact with, and hopefully meet. Well at this point we really cannot stress enough, just how important it is to get your gramma together and make a special effort to use good language skills, and here is why.
Grammar and punctuation are super under rated and really need your attention
When sending out that first message although you might think that using slang and netspeak is cool and hype and things like “ u, ur, r ” that you use on a regular and daily bases are normal and quite acceptable. Guess what, not cool, not hype, not sexy and most definitely not attractive. In a recent survey carried out by one of our competitors, they have found that most people consider these abbreviations as a real turn off, imagine they actually drive people away more than they attract them. So why take the risk of being swiped and ignored simply because you haven’t taken the time to get your words in full, use real gramma and structure, and remember the recipient has never meet you and could also presume that you are simply just ignorant!
That first opening line is so important, so take the time to get it right
The survey also showed that when expressing written amusement, it is “ha, ha” that gets the best response, with its light and playful ring to it, whereas “hi, hi” has proven to simply sound just plain evil, leaving the reader to perceive a more devilish side to the point of amusement. So once again here we suggest that you go for a more subdued “ha ha ”, don’t let the devil get the better of you “hi hi ”
not when it’s in your first message!
Well ladies and gentlemen it is time to hold back on the compliments, bet you probably were not expecting that as a useful tip for your online dating.
In this part of the article we need to separate boys from girls, (sorry), the survey very clearly showed that women in general don’t apricate reading compliments from someone they have yet to meet , so be warned compliments like; “beautiful, hot, sexy, cute” being used as pickup lines by someone a woman has never met are perceived with a certain disregarded, minimising your chances of a positive response.
All is not lost on the compliment front though, try using; “cool, nice, fascinating, awesome” instead and you will see your success rate start to climb, once the exchange is flowing back and forth, an ever greater secret weapon awaits to be used, and the word in question is “pretty”, it is a great word it covers most bases, “ pretty cool, pretty photo and am pretty good at, pretty much, pretty sure, pretty revealing. Pretty can reach up to a 40% positive response rate. Pretty good no!
Now remember keep physical talk pretty cool because as soon as you use “you’re pretty, your pretty, very pretty” you’ll ditch to a -20% response rate, so stay focused on the person and not the physic.
The same goes for your very first word in your opening greeting line, naturally our thinking casual cool slightly laidback, so you use; “Hey, Hi, hello” and here once again these innocent and somewhat neutral openings hit a negative!
To get a better response rate and to encourage dialogue you’ll need to use; “What’s up, hola, how’s it going” which are more inviting to a spontaneous response and lead the way to a more fluid and direct dialogue. By using non formal greeting openings can increase your response rate by 27%, it simply seems that a more casual approach just sets the mood for better opening and exchange.
Once you have established and are happily chatting away, this is when you can move on to interests
Using the recipients profile info to find out what your common denominators are, is the easiest way to discover common interests with your potential date, keep them interested when chatting by using the things you already have in common. Add subjects like pets, music, bands, places to hangout, books, tats, workout routines, favourite films or vegan places to eat out at, all these subjects score great response percentage rates, and by combing interest with top scoring subject matters really is the best combo, because it shows that you took the time to read the profile info in the first place and are really interested in knowing more about the person as you work towards your meet up date.
So remember by combing their profile info and your common interests, is easy all you have to do is use the following, “Your name (reminds me of…), noticed that ( you liked…), good taste ( for …), you mentioned that (you once…), curious that ( you…) ” now the dialogue should be flowing and your getting on like a house on fire.
Last step mainly targeting men isback off alittle on the confidence scale
Truth is most websites are telling you guys to be the “stronger player, be confident,” which is true, only to some degree as the survey indicated that perhaps this is not the way to go! By writing with a more unsure tone leaves room for dialogue although by using the words, “sorry, apologise and awkward”, probably will increase your response rate however you don’t want be seen as too fragile, weak or bordering on desperate so these too need to be used appropriately and with care.
All that’s left to do now is wish you all good luck and happy dating!